That ONE in One Thousand...
Gonna be straight up real and go all self-help for a moment and maybe you get me...
I got this thing and it bothers me. It bothers me a lot and often...
it’s an opinion.
But wait, its not everyones opinion, it is this ONE opinion. It sticks with me. It reminds me over and over of my shortcomings and how whatever it is I am doing is just not quite good enough. Whatever progress I have made is like a slow clap condescending applause that echoes and removes any value placed on the progress I have made at all. It degrades what I am to what I could be, who I could be, and how I could get there if only I was good enough. It reminds me how I was disposable, there are a million more like me -only better. It reminds me how they could see so much more value in everyone else except me. How they told me one thing, but did another. It causes me to wonder about what it means and why? How do I fix whatever it is so I can have that approval I so desperatly want?
Who made that opinion the standard and whhhhyyy does it get to me? Ugh insert red grumpy face here _______ lol.
Maybe you relate? I don't know... for you it may be a real person's opinion, it may be your opinion of yourself or it may just be the devil and his lies, but whoever it is-
It is all a lie that is stealing from us, and every minute we keep listening to it is another moment we are robbed of.
To make myself feel better I will say there has to be more to the story than what I see because what “they” say is not what everyone else says. Everyone else says "blah blah blah lots of good things." Everyone else is positive. Everyone else is complimentary. Why do I want approval so bad from this one direction when I have it 1000 other places that matter waaaay more? Why am I taking this on as so much rejection when really all it is is a bad seed that was planted that I continue to water and shine light on it so it can grow?
Boom. How’s that for a reality check? I am who is letting it bother me. I keep feeding it, I'm the one making it grow.
Things keep happening that remind me of this lesson over and over. I was having a bad day with some stuff so I was giving a little life chat to my kids and explaining to them that just because one person is mean and says something doesn’t always make it true. There are people you can trust to tell you the truth who love you and do it out of love, but just because its easier to remember that one loose moment someone mean said something hurtful doesn’t mean it is who or what you really are. I was thinking if I say this out loud and instill it in them early maybe I will begin to really see it, believe it and understand it for myself.
That very same night a little boy said something to my daughter about what she was wearing. She looked super trendy and very cute, she was perfectly happy when she left the house. Everyone had been telling her all night how adorable she looked. But he said something like “Ugh what are you wearing?!” She replied with the ever so precious [throw me under the bus] “What my mom chose and made me wear.” To which he said “Well your mom needs to choose better clothes because that’s weird.” She walked over to us so angry and embarrassed. I asked her then “What do you think about what you are wearing? (...she liked it) What has everyone else in this whole place said tonight? (…good things) …so it doesn’t matter what that one mean little boy said AND I don’t know why you didn’t just punch him in the face.” … jk jk … well sort of… I did really say that, but I was kidding and she knew it! ...she totally could've defended herself though and I would've been thrilled js ..... But it was yet another perfect example of needing to deal with this slapping both of us right in the face.
One opinion in 1000 opinions is easy to remember,
but that does not make it true.
I mean everyone needs that person who loves you enough to tell you the truth. Simon Cowell spent years being that person for many people who were surrounded by “Yes, you are so great” people all of the time.
There is a balance to the truth and we gotta find it, but it is not healthy for so much weight to be given to one opinion. Acceptance vs rejection doesn’t come from them so we can’t try to make it. God made us worthy enough and good enough and talented enough and strong enough and brave enough and smart enough to accomplish more than we could imagine. So who gives a rip if "they" ever see it in us at all?! Clearly "they" all have their own junk to get over since nothing but rudeness comes out of them anyways! ... again why are we caring so much what they think???? ...exactly we shouldn't and now we don't.
This is kind of an off subject side note that I think also can contribute to this thinking ...
Comparison is just plain evil! If God made us all look different and act different do we really think our destiny and all of our life paths would somehow be the same? Why would any of our goals even be the same?
What is success to some is not the definition of success to others so there is no way to compare the two, why do we even try? We need to quit.
I know there are all sorts of mommy blogs about this whole era of social media comparisons and "mommy shaming" etc, but for real people- how ‘bout we all agree to just stop! I give my kids pop-tarts, you would never give your kid processed junk and sugar. I let my kids play outside all the time and get very dirty. Yours are super great at computers and video games and never ever have clay stains or bugs in their pockets.
I love my kids, you love your kids, they will both be fine.
Success to you may look like a million dollars and a fancy job. Success to your neighbor might be their regular paying job that they enjoy going to everyday. They are successful because they are happy and exactly where they are supposed to be. That doesn’t make anyones goals any better than the others they are just different. Both are working hard and doing good things.
As for that one opinion on replay in your head...you know...the one that screams so loud saying you aren't enough? ...tell it to SHUT UP. Call it what it is a -stinkin' stupid lie - and don't let it bother you anymore. I am sure done listening to that broken record in my mind. Its certainly not helping anything holding on to it. Decide who or what yours is and be done with it. The positive, right, truth-filled opinions are way more fun anyways!
If this brutal honesty and dose of reality is something you totally get please share it and maybe tag someone you know who needs it too. #1 because you are nice and care about your friends and want to help them. #2 because its kinda funny to think about those particular someones full of their negativity, rudeness and opinions that might be wondering if you are talking about them ...sharing is our first step to not caring a minute more!!